A Grand Day Out
2/5 - 3/5 - 2/5 - 5/5
Spoilers
February has not been a great month. OK, possibly an over-exaggeration, but in terms of my cinema going exploits, it has not been a great month. A series of prior-commitments, sickness bugs, new commitments, and forgotten work events caused a hitherto unacceptable three week gap in my cinema visiting exploits. Three weeks! When the last lock down ended, I said "Never Again!" but then February 2022 snuck up on me and slapped me around the face with a wet fish as if it were February 2021. To quote the eminently quotable Mean Girls, "Boo you, whore!"
When not visiting the cinema, writing, composing, or performing amateur dramatics, I teach secondary school students Music in my spare time. A glowing positive on the horizon of this Februannus Horribilis, was half term. With a day (mostly) cleared of other activities, I wrote my Tuesday off as a cinema day. And boy did I cinema. No matter the lows or highs, it was certainly a grand day out, bathing in the popcorn fog of the big screen's glow. Let's take a stroll through my day...
Death on the Nile
2/5
11:45
With a meeting at 11:00, this first screening was quite a race to make. I gambled all of my travel chips on the bus route being more reliable than the trains and it paid off. I hopped on the strangely prompt X5 at 11:27 and hopped off at Aston University at 11:37 before casually strolling over the weirdest Odeon in the country - Birmingham New Street.
My first film, Branagh's return to Agatha Christie's beloved Poirot, was being shown in Screen 8. For those of you not familiar with this hall, Screen 8 is little more than a private viewing screen for poor saps who have misjudged their film times. It seems to fit five people and a dog at most and plays on a screen I believe most millionaires would consider too small for their living rooms. It is quaint in its own way and, for a supposed cosy-crime murder mystery, very Sunday evening-ish.
Branagh's first outing with Poirot, as director/star, was enjoyable enough. He took the ever-popular Murder on the Orient Express and gave it a nice cinematic gleam. He was engaging, the cast were star lit and suitably entertaining, and the production values were high enough to present the opulence of the train in full detail. A small action skirmish was included completely superfluously, but that fortunately passed quickly.
This sequel is definitely an inferior follow up. Taking Christie's second most famous story as a starting point, screenwriter Michael Green replaces characters, adds new ones in, and generally fiddles with the construction of the plot, all most unnecessarily. But more so than just trying to out-plot the best-selling crime author of all time, Green infuses the whole story with an unwelcome theme: love and passion. The plot is not allowed to progress unless a character declares a ridiculous mini-monologue on the trials and pains of love. A prelude is added to the film showing Poirot receive horrific facial scarring in the trenches of WWI (which is basically non-existent for 99% of the rest of the film, supposedly hidden by his slight moustache) before being visited by a fiancé. The fiancé is later revealed to be dead, allowing Poirot to join in the 'what is love?' party.
Herein lies the primary problem with the film, Branagh and Green can't just let the film be what it is, a murder mystery. It has to be more, it has to mean more. Every motive and melodrama needs subtext. Except, and here's the rub boys, it doesn't. Sometimes a well made murder mystery can be just that, a well made murder mystery. Several reviewers have criticised this for being "old-fashioned to a fault" - with the modern insistence on over-emotional dialogue, uncomfortably and out-of-place erotic dancing with Armie (it was a shame they couldn't get Christopher Plummer in last minute) Hammer, and Poirot himself being over-dramatic, I'm not sure what "old-fashioned" films they could possibly be referring to.
Amidst the poor-plot choices, the cast still gave good performances. I do find Kenneth Branagh endearing and engaging, in spite of his dialogue, and would gladly see another Poirot, as long as he wasn't directing. Tom Bateman and Annette Benning give strong turns too, even if Bateman's Bouc was shoehorned in. The choice of using French and Saunders bemused me - both are fine actors in comedy or drama, but together the 'French and Saunders' aura is quite distracting.
As a concluding point, the thing that frustrated me most was the cinematography. The fault here summarises many of this film's problems. Playing on Poirot's OCD, many of the shots were set up to be symmetrical. A notable scene between Poirot and Bouc, on the back of the boat, had a set up with two wicker chairs either side of the screen. Branagh stood in front of one, perfectly central, and Bateman in front of the second matching. Dividing the screen was a slim iron beam, part of the ship's construction. Except the iron beam was not central, it was closer to Branagh than Bateman. This happened repeatedly - an attempt at a clever shot ruined by the laziness of not bothering to get it quite right. Maybe the whole film just needed a bit more care and attention.
Uncharted
3/5
14:00
At 2 o'clock, when Uncharted was due to begin, I was still watching the last few breaths of Death on the Nile. Fortunately, in this instance, there are about 20 minutes of ads and trailers before the film actually begins. Needing to visit the men's room, and tight for time, I had to break with convention and scoot out at 14:15 before the Nile credits had finished rolling. By 14:17 I was dashing into Screen 1 where I found an almost full auditorium and nothing on the screen. I sat for until about 14:25, with nothing happening save the chatter of the audience and the repeated playing of Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Suede, when the film just started. No ads, no trailers, screen still narrow and slowly opening, lights quickly dimming. Quality work there, Odeon New St., quality work.
It is with great trepidation one should approach a cinematic video game adaptation. By and large, they are usually terrible. Popular convention says "Don't do it!" but the big Hollywood bosses carry on anyway. Here it helped that the video game company, Sony, and the film studio, Sony, had similar interests.
My fears were generally disproven. It's not a great film or an action film generations of kids will be revisiting, but it is a fun popcorn adventure. The tale takes inspiration from Indiana Jones and The Goonies to create a generally enjoyable two hour romp. It has a mystery that is enjoyable to watch the leads piece together, it has some fun and slightly ridiculous action sequences, and it has some laughs. The trailer did sterling work in spoiling most of them, but it is a credit to the film that it was still enjoyable to watch the sections piece together.
It is at its weakest with the development of character, which is no surprise, and a failure to deliver natural sounding dialogue. We are quickly handed Tom Holland's Nate and Mark Wahlberg's Victor and expected to buy into some very unearned chemistry. Often it is a case of tell not show in developing their bond which means the relationship never really lands. A later scene, after finding the gold, sees Holland exasperated by the shallow goals of Wahlberg, whilst Wahlberg is happy they have found the gold. As an audience member watching a popcorn action film, I was with Wahlberg.
The lack of initial character development, and the avoidance of too much meandering, meant the movie moved along at a sprightly pace. When most action films of late seem to be aiming for 150 minutes, this came in at a refreshing two hours. All of it action, little of it emotional baggage. The post credit scene set up a potential sequel and, in a testament to the success of the film, I'd go and see it.
Sing 2
2/5
17:00
With Uncharted over at 16:20, I took a stroll back into the sunlight and headed up to a favourite haunt of mine, the Head of Steam, for a refreshing pint of ABK Weissbeer. I was joined by my Dad and sister, companions for the evening shift. After a debrief over what I had seen in the morning, both of which they had managed the previous week (lucky sods), we headed back to the rabbit warren of mystery that is the Odeon New St.
I will give you fair warning now that I was no major fan of Sing and actively distrust anything from Illumination studios. As someone with more than a passing enjoyment of animated movies, Illumination often strike me as the most sell-out of animation studios, making irritating films with cheap gags, bland animation, and an overreliance on modern pop music. The new logo for the company, with the loathsome minions singing "Illumination" in voices that sound like they designed by a deranged child, gave me a shiver of fear that we were being punished further with another Minions short. Fortunately, they receded into the darkness from whence they had sprung, and the actual film began.
To its credit, Sing 2 outdid my expectations on the animation front. Though still too garish for my liking, there was a lot more creativity involved than in previous Illumination ventures. In animation, a good film can either play creatively with the animation style or play creatively with the lack of limits gifted by animation. The final sequence, based on a bizarre sci-fi musical, was quite spectacular and showed a vivid amount of the latter form creativity. The design of Redshore City, Sing 2's Vegas, was likewise spectacular, as were several of the set pieces, including roller skating flamingos.
About half way through the film I put my finger on what the problem was though. I realised I felt quite miserable. Finding most of the music choices unpalatable to my own musical tastes meant I was rather impervious to their charms. Whilst I imagine most people who enjoy Sing and Sing 2 find the music a valued part of the experience, I don't. So when you strip back the upbeat musical numbers you are left with a plot that is pretty miserable. The characters spend most of the film feeling they can't achieve what they want. The show they are putting on looks constantly to be in jeopardy. Everything looks set to fail, and not in a funny way. Once the film has got you down, the last ten minutes of success can only feel euphoric. Where a better film would help you to fall in love with the characters, to feel hope for them, Sing 2 (much like its predecessor) relies on lowering the mood, cushioned by pop music, before bringing you up for a stellar finale. I'd much rather have a good time throughout the film than rely on a candied buzz at the end.
Parallel Mothers
5/5
20:10
With an hour to spare, we left the Odeon for good and darted up to Wetherspoons for a planned quick bite between screenings. One Sing 2 chat, burger, and pint done we headed to our final destination - The Electric.
For those of you not familiar with Birmingham (if so, well, shame on you), The Electric is the U.K.'s oldest working cinema, having been in operation since 1909. Before the pandemic, it was a cinema enthusiast's dream. They showed a broad range of films, from chart hits to independent releases, foreign films to classics. It was glorious. And, best of of all, it had a working bar. At the start of the Covid-19 crisis, the previous owner swore he would stay open, as they had done through both world wars, then was told to shut in line with all other businesses. In a crazy move, he fired all the staff before furlough happened. From what could be followed online, it appeared there were attempts to just offload the cinema to whoever. This bastion of cinephiles everywhere looked set to sink.
Step in and step up Kevin Markwick, a London cinema owner who bought the place from the previous fellow. With a lot of hard work, he and his daughter have brought this local institution back to life. From what can be seen on ticket sales, they've had a good first month whilst they settle in. This visit was my first back since February 2020 and was set to be the highlight of the day.
With a pint in hand, we settled down to watch not only an independent film, not only a foreign film, but also a major Oscar contender. A great way to cap off this cinematic Tuesday.
Parallel Mothers is an interesting film. At its core, it tells the story of two mothers whose babies are unknowingly swapped in the hospital. Penélope Cruz's baby, with a different mother called Ana, dies before Cruz uses DNA tests to find out. She avoids telling Ana, who believes her child is dead, and brings her into her own home. Ultimately this leads to an emotional release as the truth comes out.
Bookending this tale is a more personal tale, not in the sense of intimacy as we find with the 'swapped daughters' plot, but personal to the Spanish team behind the film. Cruz is trying to get a mass grave from the Spanish Civil War exhumed to reveal her lost great-grandfather. At the end, the grave is exhumed and the small town grieve together.
Initially I struggled to reconcile these two stories. The opening bookend felt like a set up and the closing bookend felt like a tag on. But the concept has stuck with me. Rather than a film about swapped daughters, the film is a metaphor for the pain of a nation in denial, a nation on the verge of forgetting its past. Cruz's Janis accuses the younger Ana, by this point lovers, of being young and not caring about the past. She verbally strikes out, saying Ana should know where her roots are.
It is a telling film for the era we live in. For the Spanish, release and harmony can only be found by uncovering the truth. Much like Janis and Ana finding peace through the truth about the babies being released, the people of this town can only find peace and harmony by uncovering the crimes of generations passed. An old lady, whose father is buried in the grave, says she just wants to give them peace before she dies. Maybe for all of us, with people fighting over the truth of the past, from toppling statues to the concept of critical race theory, there are universal lessons here.
Crux gives a stand out performance, never histrionic, deeply personal and realistic. The role is quite complex and could easily have come across as deranged or unhinged in the wrong hands. Cruz and director Pedro Almodóvar have a long working history and the synchronicity between them anchors the whole film. An engaging film told well.
Death on the Niles, 2022 / Uncharted, 2022 / Sing 2, 2021 / Parallel Mothers, 2021
Directors: Kenneth Branagh / Ruben Fleischer / Garth Jennings / Pedro Almodóvar
Writers: Michael Green, based on Death on the Nile by Agatha Christie / Rafe Lee Judkins, Art Marcum, & Matt Holloway, based on Uncharted by Naughty Dog / Garth Jennings / Pedro Almodóvar
Composers: Patrick Doyle / Ramin Djawadi / Joby Talbot / Alberto Iglesias
Starring: Tom Bateman, Annette Bening, Kenneth Branagh, Russell Brand, Ali Fazal, Dawn French, Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Rose Leslie, Emma Mackey, Sophie Okonedo, Jennifer Saunders, & Letitia Wright / Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Sophia Ali, Tati Gabrielle, & Antonio Banderas / Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Scarlett Johansson, Taron Egerton, Bobby Cannavale, Tori Kelly, Nick Kroll, & Bono / Penélope Cruz, Milena Smit, Israel Elejalde, Aitana Sánchez-Gijón, Rossy de Palma, & Julieta Serrano
All films are currently showing in major cinemas across the U.K.
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